Let’s take a look at the following sentence:

This concludes the NLP Advanced Language Patterns Mastery series. Feel free to use it a second or third time until you have reached your desired level of competence. You’ll find the entire series under the tag NLP Language Patterns.

Recap:
Day 51: Sleight of Mouth: Apply to Self
Day 52: Sleight of Mouth: Reversing Presuppositions
Day 53: Comparisons Exercise
Day 54: Language Pattern Flow Chart
Day 55: Advanced Language Patterns Integration

1. Gather Information: Eliciting the Belief to be Changed.
   1. Briefly specify the outcome: “What do you want?”

   2. Get limitation in terms of A=B or A causes B. This means that we want either A (cause) leads to B (effect) or A (specific evidence) means B (conclusion).
      1. Ask “What stops you?”
      2. If you have something specific (A), ask:
         “How is that a problem?”
         “What does that mean to you?”
         “What does that cause or make happen?”
      3. If you have a response (B), ask:
         “What causes you to feel that way?”
         “How do you know it’s time to have that response?”
         “What happens just before you have that response?”
      4. If you have a conclusion (B) ask:
         “How do you know that?”
         “What happens that gets you to conclude x?”
         “What’s your evidence that x is true?”
   3. Check: Do you have a limiting A=B or A causes B? Is it a belief you want to change?
   4. Specify context: “Is [A = or causes B] always true?”
   5. Find out about other related limitations. “After we have taken care of [A = or causes B], will you have what you want?”
2. Loosen old belief. Use all sleight of mouth and presuppositions.
3. Replace with new belief. Use all sleight of mouth and presuppositions.
4. Test. “So now, in that moment when [context of former limitation], is there anything that can possibly stop you from just automatically [having outcome]?”
5. (Optional) Future-pace with contextualization.
   “Now that you have made this change, when do you still want to [have old behavior/response] even though you also [have the new choice]?”
6. Install on timeline where/when useful. Use presuppositions and verb forms.

1. A states a problem/limitation.
2. B determines the comparison involved in the limitation.
   “As compared to what?”
   “What are you comparing this to, to even recognize what it is?”
   Determine: Is this a useful comparison to change? If we changed this comparison, would that change his/her experience? If not, is there another comparison in this context that would be more useful to change? (Hint: it’s often useful to go earlier in the sequence.)
3. B tries to change components of the comparison in a useful way. Be sure you’re only changing the comparison, not the complex equivalence of cause-effect.

Possible components to change in a comparison:

1. Change chunk size
2. Digital/analog
3. Change criteria
4. Mismatch/match (or less/more)
5. Change time frame
6. Other/other comparison
7. Different self/other
8. Self/self

Purpose: This is a particularly useful Sleight of Mouth category since you can utilize it with most beliefs. The general formula below gives you an “all-purpose” way to apply this method – even when you don’t know the answer yourself.

Reversing Presuppositions:
“How [does/will/can/might/could/would] A actually [cause/equal/mean] more [opposite of 'B']?”
Or
“How [does/will/can/might/could/would] [opposite of 'A'] actually [cause/equal/mean] more ‘B’?”

Example: “In what way, now that you think about it, will the fact that you have personal flaws and you know it, actually support your own personal development than if you had no personal flaws at all?”

Key Question: How can the criteria in the belief be used against the belief?

Purpose: Utilize criteria within belief to blow it out.

Three Components Generally Required:

1. Go Meta
2. Utilize Criterion
3. Blow Out Belief

To utilize “away-from” criteria:

1. Restate belief as “I don’t like x.”
2. Say, “This belief is x.”
   Example: “I don’t like absolutes.” Response: “Is that an absolute?”

To utilize “toward” criteria:

1. Restate belief as “I want x.”
2. Say, “This belief stops you from having x.”
   Example: “I always have to please people.” Response: “That doesn’t please me.”

To utilize situations in which their having the belief contradicts the belief.

1. Say, “The fact that you have this belief proves it’s not true.”
2. Example: “I can’t learn.” Response: “You learned that really well, didn’t you?”

Recap:
Day 43: Sleight of Mouth: Switch Referential Index
Day 44: Sleight of Mouth: Redefine
Day 45: Sleight of Mouth: Change Frame
Day 46: Sleight of Mouth: Criteria Utilization
Day 47: Sleight of Mouth: Meta

Talk about the belief as a thing. Step outside of the belief and talk about it.

Purpose: Help the person dissociate from their belief. Also, this is an important component of the next pattern, Apply to Self.

Meta: Go meta to the original belief.

“What does ‘confidence’ mean to you?”

“Thank goodness you have a powerful response to making more money.”

This integrates several Sleight of Mouth patterns.

1. A states: “I want to do X, but something stops me.”
2. B elicits the relevant criteria for both doing and not doing, and makes two lists.
   1. “What’s important or valuable about doing X?”
      “What makes you want to do X?”
      Listen for criteria.
   2. Put the person in the context(s) where he could do X but doesn’t, and listen for criteria.
      “What’s important or valuable about not doing X?”
      “What stops you from doing X?”
3. B elicits a higher criterion that supersedes all the major criteria elicited thus far, particularly one that is more important than 2.2 above.
   “What is more important to you than X (safety, etc.)?”
   “What will get you to give up X (safety, etc.)?”
4. B utilizes criteria to assist A in congruently doing what he wants to do, by doing one or more of the following:
   1. Redefine what he wants to do, so that it fits within the criteria that currently stop him (from step 2.2), or
   2. Make what he now does instead into counter-examples of his valued criteria (from steps 2.2 and 3) (use redefining and apply to self), or
   3. Make what he wants to do an example of the higher-valued criterion (from step 3) even if it still violates lower-valued criteria (from step 2.2) (use redefining and hierarchy of criteria).
5. B uses verb forms to install new belief and behavior on timeline.
   Example: So you want to be firm with your child, but you are stopped by wanting to be a nice person. More important than being a nice person is learning.
   1. “Can you see how in the long run you will be a much nicer person, and more thoughtful of your child, by being firm?”
   2. “It’s really rather mean – not nice at all – to let your child get by with anything, because you’re not preparing him to be able to get along with attractive and resourceful people later in life.”
   3. “So which is more important, being a nice person in a limited sort of way, or laying the foundation for your son to learn how to get along in life?”

Key Question: “What do I want to pay attention to? What do I want to include/exclude?”

Purpose: The scope of what we experience impacts our response. Making it larger or smaller or moving it somewhere else creates a different experience. The frame can be changed to include/exclude different contexts, time, resources, numbers of people, or criteria.

Change Frame: A larger/smaller/different frame adds/deletes/changes information in the same picture at the same logical level.

“Have you thought about exactly how much money you want to make?”

“Have you considered what steps to take to become more confident?”

Key Question: “What/What else can this mean?”

Purpose: Changing the meaning of an event or behavior changes our response to it.

Redefine: Changing the meaning.

“Could not being able to make more money simply mean that you haven’t learned how yet?”

“Is it possible that your lack of confidence means you need to focus on all the ways you are completely secure?”

Key Question: “For whom is this not true?”

Purpose: Another person is often a useful source of excellent counter-examples. Use also when you want to be more indirect (metaphorical), or when you want to invite a possibility but don’t know if it fits your listener’s set of experiences.

Switch Referential Index: Switch who the belief refers to.

“Do you know of anyone who has developed confidence who didn’t have it at one time?”

“Can you think of someone who overcame poverty?”

Recap:
Day 36: Sleight of Mouth: Model of the World: Awareness or Description Predicates – Questioning Tonal Shift
Day 37: Sleight of Mouth: Prior Cause
Day 38: Sleight of Mouth: Consequences
Day 39: Sleight of Mouth: Intent
Day 40: Sleight of Mouth: Counter-Example

Key Question: “When is this not true?”

Purpose: Finding exceptions to limiting beliefs creates a doorway to a new more-useful belief.

Counter-Example: An example “counter” to the belief.

“When have you had confidence in the past?”

“Have you ever made less money than you do now?”

Key Question: “What was intended?”

Purpose: Shifting from negative behaviors to a positive intent creates agreement and appreciation – the basis for new, more positive behavior.

Intent: What the belief is trying to accomplish.

“What would it do for you if you had more confidence?”

“What is the intent of believing that you can’t make more money?”

Key Question: “What happens afterward, as a result?”

Purpose: This expands the frame in the other direction from Prior Cause. Adding in future consequences can make something perceived as positive become negative, or vice versa. It can also add intensity to an already-perceived positive or negative perception.

Consequences: The effect of the statement.

“Will not making more money prevent you from reaching your goals?”

“Does your lack of confidence cause you to miss important opportunities?”

Key Question: “What happened earlier that caused this?”

Purpose: Bringing an earlier cause into the picture can broaden understanding and shift away from blame. It expands the frame.

Prior Cause: Cause of the statement.

“What happened that made you believe you have no confidence?”

“What made you believe that you can’t make more money?”

The purpose of the Model of the World pattern is to “loosen” beliefs. This pattern “drives a wedge” between what’s real and our experience.

Model of the World – Awareness or Description Predicates: picture, describe, view, see, suppose, etc.

“So the way you picture the situation is that you need more confidence?”

“So you describe your situation as needing more money?”

Model of the World – Questioning Tonal Shift:

“So you want to make more MONEY?”

“So you want MORE confidence?”

Recap:
Day 29: Presuppositional Forms: Negative Questions
Day 30: Presuppositional Forms: Rhetorical Question
Day 31: Presuppositional Forms: Spurious “Not”
Day 32: Sleight of Mouth: Model of the World: Unreality Predicates – Self/Other
Day 33: Sleight of Mouth: Model of the World: Tonal Emphasis – Time

The purpose of the Model of the World pattern is to “loosen” beliefs. This pattern “drives a wedge” between what’s real and our experience.

Model of the World – Tonal Emphasis:

“So you THINK that making money is difficult?”

“So YOU think that confidence is difficult to find?”

Model of the World – Time: now, at this point, how long…, etc.

“You’re saying that at this point in time, you don’t have enough confidence?”

“So now you know that you need to make more money?”

The purpose of the Model of the World pattern is to “loosen” beliefs. This pattern “drives a wedge” between what’s real and our experience.

Model of the World – Unreality Predicates: seems, appears, looks like, etc.

“So it seems to you that you don’t have confidence?”

“So it looks like you’re having trouble making more money?”

Model of the World – Self/Other: “So for you…”

“So for you making money is difficult?”

“So for you confidence is difficult to find?”

Spurious “Not”:

“I wonder if you’re not already able to be confident.”

“I wonder if you’re not already learning to make more money.”

Rhetorical Question:

“What good does it do to focus on times when you weren’t confident?”

“What difference does it make if you made less money in the past?”

Negative Questions:

“Haven’t you had even one time when you were confident?”

“Weren’t you making less money than you are now in grade school?”